If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere

I want to be a part of it, New York, New York.

At this point, before I even move into NYC, I'm not quite sure I can make it here. You see, if Blogger would have let me sign in last night I would have told you that I got taken off the schedule at my hostessing job. I was surprised to say the least. I always get there early, I stay later than normal, I always pick up shifts when I can, I have e-mailed my boss eager to do more and start training for waitressing, yet as she said "I'm not bubbly and don't seem like I want the job badly enough." No warning, no help or opportunity to improve, nada.

Yes I was spread pretty thin some nights with both jobs and a long commute but to argue that I didn't want the job badly enough was pretty insulting and defeating. 

I have not been technically fired because if they need me in a bind, they can call me and if that shift goes well, they have the option of putting me back on the schedule. However, I can't just sit around and wait for that to happen.

Back to the job hunt again and maybe this time I can find a good fit for a longer term. One that lets me work a weekend or two and actually lets me waitress and is all around just a better fit. My student loans are paid for for June but I have to find a replacement job quickly so I don't have to take too much from savings. Absolutely stressful.

What I've learned from Oprah recently is that when handed a hard time and you feel like you've failed, always ask "What is this here to teach me?" I've learned I have to step up my game because New York is tough. I've learned I can't take on everything and have to find a better balance so I can give everything I'm invested in my all. I've learned that not every shoe is going to fit and sometimes you have to try on a bunch before you find the right pair. Sometimes it's exhausting and sometimes you just have to go barefoot but it's better than walking in shoes that give you blisters.