Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I'm starting to panic

Thanks for the advice people-it helps. I wish I could keep you in my wallet reminding me to keep my money in there unless I need it. It still has been difficult to be spending free this week since I haven't taken the time to plan meals, pack my lunches etc. but I'm trying-I really am. Tomorrow is pay day and it can't come soon enough. I miss having a hefty savings account I could fall back on and not worry from paycheck to paycheck. I have about $17 going into savings and $35 left over after my budget is complete but I can't even make a loan payment because I have to carry it over for my next scary, depleted paycheck. BUMMER!

I did the math today to figure out what my next paycheck will look like since it's pretty much cut in half and it was kinda of scary. If I am able to go to Wisconsin over Easter weekend, I will be about $30 short of fulfilling my budget, not to mention no savings deposit and no loan payment. That's 2 paychecks with no loan payment and that is VERY scary to me. I guess it's what I deserve for going on fabulous spring break.

On top of all that, I'm beyond stressed about after graduation. I just wrote a fantastic, creative, unique cover letter with the advice of a good friend who basically uses hers as a golden ticket to really cool jobs. I've updated my resume, which now includes my latest award "Outstanding Student Employee" from the U of M that I just received. And I've been filling out applications as much as possible. Here's the thing: I'm a little limited because I won't have much money saved up for living expenses come May so I'm forced to stay close to home until I can build up some savings. That really limits my options. I'm just really nervous I'll be stuck just working at Express and not able to afford anything, let alone set aside significant savings or make advanced loan payments. I'm just really beginning to panic that I'm going to drown financially and much faster than I ever expected. I know I have the nanny position to fall back on and that would really help to not have the living expenses etc. but it's a temporary solution. I don't know how to ease my nerves about this really scary unknown future. I have WAY too big of loan payments coming my way to be calm about this.

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